When Pregnancy Reopens Old Wounds: Understanding and Healing Childhood Trauma

Pregnancy is a transformative and deeply emotional experience, that is often accompanied by excitement, anticipation, and anxiety. For many moms-to-be, however, this period can also unearth unresolved issues from their past, particularly childhood trauma. The physical and emotional changes that occur during pregnancy, combined with the impending responsibilities of motherhood, can activate past memories and feelings long buried. Understanding this connection is helpful for expectant mothers who may find themselves unexpectedly facing old wounds.

I wrote this guide in hopes of shedding light on how pregnancy can stir up childhood trauma, offering insights and support to help navigate this complex journey with greater ease and compassion.

How Childhood Trauma Resurfaces During Pregnancy

Feelings and Memories Bring Up Trauma During Pregnancy

Throughout the pregnancy, heightened emotions and mood swings are a natural part of pregnancy, but for those with a history of trauma, these emotional fluctuations can bring unresolved trauma to the surface (2021). Feelings of sadness, fear, or anger may seem disproportionate to the current situation, reflecting deeper, unresolved issues from the past. Reflecting on the experiencing of preparing for a baby can bring up memories of our own experiences and how our own parents may not have shown up the way we needed.

Physical Changes Bring Up Trauma During Pregnancy

The physical changes of pregnancy can be startling and, for some, can trigger memories of past physical abuse or neglect. As the body changes and grows, it may bring a sense of vulnerability or a reminder of times when one’s body was not their own. This can also be a hard reminder of body shaming experiences that may have occurred in the past or increase any unresolved body image issues.

Medical Interventions Bring Up Trauma During Pregnancy

Pregnancy can be an extremely vulnerable experience. Routine medical interventions such as ultrasounds, exams, and even the act of being touched can feel invasive, reminiscent of past traumatic experiences . This can make necessary medical care during pregnancy a source of stress and anxiety (COPE, 2024).

Anticipation & Anxiety of Becoming a Mother

The anticipation of childbirth and the responsibilities of motherhood can amplify feelings of vulnerability and fear. This is especially true for those who have experienced trauma, as the impending changes can evoke fears of inadequacy, failure, or harm. It is common for negative beliefs learned in childhood, such as “I am not good enough,” to resurface and impact a soon-to-be mothers confidence.

3 Major Signs Childhood Trauma is Impacting the Pregnancy:

Here are 3 tell-tale signs that the ghosts of the past are returning and impacting your pregnancy experience:

1. Emotional Signs of Trauma During Pregnancy:

   This can look like an increase in anxiety, depression, or unexpected emotional reactions. The distress arises from what seems to be out of nowhere. In addition to expected shifts in emotions, there may be times where you feel an increased discomfort with being touched, lows self worth and self doubt, fear of judgement, feeling more alert or on edge.

2. Physical Signs of Trauma During Pregnancy:

   Unexplained physical symptoms such as aches, pains, or chronic fatigue can sometimes be linked to unresolved trauma. As you go through the different aspects of pregnancy and past trauma resurfaces, the body can begin to experience those past wounds. These physical manifestations are often the body’s way of signaling distress (Van Der Kolk, 2021).

3. Behavioral Signs of Trauma During Pregnancy:

   Behavioral changes, such as withdrawal from loved ones, irritability, feeling disconnected from your body, or difficulty bonding with the baby, can indicate that past trauma is affecting current experiences. Though more research is needed, there have been recent studies that show that women with a history of childhood trauma are at a higher risk of postpartum depression (Prentice et al., 2022).

3 Ways to Manage Trauma During and After Pregnancy

Here are 3 starting points to begin creating a safe and supportive environment while also working towards healing from the childhood wounds.

1. Identify Self-Nurturing Strategies:

   Find activities that you enjoy and work to reconnect with them and yourself. Engage in mindfulness practices that encourage reconnecting with your body and emotions in order to move through and surfacing distress. Engage in joyful movement like yoga, walks, gardening, and else anything that feels rewarding physically and mentally while incorporating your values. These acts of self preservation invite you to be present, slow down with and unhook from any emotionally taxing thoughts or memories.

2. Communicating Your Needs:

   Let your support system and healthcare team know about your history and what you need. Communicate your boundaries and when things are feeling uncomfortable or overwhelming. This allows your support system to be more mindful and considerate of you experiences and how to move forward. This might look like them letting you know exactly what they are doing during an exam, always asking for permission to touch you if necessary, and being more attuned to your emotions as they arise.

3. Incorporate Trauma-Informed Care in Your Birth Plan:

   Developing a birth plan that includes trauma-informed care can help you feel more in control. Discuss your history with your healthcare provider and outline specific measures that will make you feel safer and more comfortable during childbirth.

EMDR Therapy: A Path to Healing from Childhood Trauma

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach that helps individuals process and heal from trauma. It involves guided eye movements or other bilateral stimulation while recalling traumatic events, which helps to reprocess these memories and reduce their emotional impact. EMDR can significantly alleviate symptoms of trauma, anxiety, and depression, making it a valuable tool for expectant and new mothers.

Finding a qualified EMDR therapist is crucial for effective treatment. Look for licensed mental health professionals who specialize in trauma and have specific training in EMDR. In addition to therapy, building a support network that includes family, friends, and support groups is vital. A strong support system provides emotional stability and practical help during challenging times, enhancing maternal mental health and the overall healing process.

Moving Forward in Motherhood with Hope & Healing

No one pregnancy is the same and the experience is different for everyone, just like trauma. Emphasizing the potential for healing and growth is important; acknowledge the progress you’ve made and the strength it takes to confront and process trauma. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reaching out for support demonstrates your commitment to healing and to being the best mother you can be.

Addressing childhood trauma is not only crucial for your well-being but also for the well-being of your baby. By acknowledging and working through past trauma, you can create a healthier and more nurturing environment for your child.

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References

1. Previous trauma can impact expectant mothers during pregnancy and beyond. University of Michigan News. (2021, November 29). https://news.umich.edu/previous-trauma-can-impact-expectant-mothers-during-pregnancy-and-beyond/

2. Pregnancy and the impact of past abuse or trauma. COPE. (2024, January 28). https://www.cope.org.au/expecting-a-baby/the-impact-of-trauma-and-negative-past-experiences/

3. Prentice, D. M., Otaibi, B. W., Stetter, C., Kunselman, A. R., & Ural, S. H. (2022). The Association Between Adverse Childhood Experiences and Postpartum Depression. Frontiers in global women's health, 3, 898765. https://doi.org/10.3389/fgwh.2022.898765

4. Van der Kolk, B. A., & Pratt, S. (2021). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Random House Audio.